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The Homemade Demo

by Giant Baby

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1.
Fuck that bastard Marconi And Alexander Graham Bell can blow me Give us the apparition as mad as the Barbary Coast We want Tesla's Electric Ghost Tesla's Electric Ghost Tesla's Electric Ghost He's coming tonight so flicker the light for Tesla's Electric Ghost Prepare the Fruit Loops and macadamia nuts it's time to shake this country out of its rut Bring about some old-fashioned Glasnost With the help of Tesla's Electric Ghost Tesla's Electric Ghost Tesla's Electric Ghost He's coming tonight so flicker the light for Tesla's Electric Ghost But before we reach for the bong it's time to separate the weak from the strong let's surf the Ouija board and raise a hearty toast let's conjure up Tesla's Electric Ghost We've been waiting all year For that genius to appear Invented all the things that we love the most Here comes Tesla's Electric Ghost
2.
Do you want a goddamn bagel today? For your insolence you shall pay Go and ahead make my ninja day I'm the ninja at the coffee shop I'm the ninja at the coffee shop I'm the ninja at the coffee shop Don't fuck with me Don't touch my mop I'm the ass-kicking Ninja at the coffee Shop! Dark roast French roast Motherfuckin' ninja roast I Think I'll slice your ass up And make my famous ninja toast (x2) I'll beat you to death with my big wooden staff 'Cuz you're a little pussy if you drink decaf leave some money in my tip jar or I'll pin you to the wall with a shuriken star Just ask that pirate how he got that scar I'm the ninja at the coffee shop Get back in the line or I'll slice off your head I can't take your order 'til the Shogun is dead Dark roast French roast Motherfuckin' ninja roast I Think I'll slice your ass up And make my famous ninja toast (x2) Don't fuck with me Don't touch my mop I'm the ass-kicking Ninja at the coffee Shop (x2)
3.
You tell me that you love me that you'll always have my back but will you stay here with me when the Lizardmen attack? Crawling from the murky swamps to challenge our romance Can I count on you to ride shotgun, or will you scream and shit your pants? Mortgages and babies never scared you away But when we fight the Lizardmen, will you join the fray? Marriage is conditional, or it don't mean a thing If you can't fight off a reptile, then you don't get a ring The Doktor's got his shotgun, Captain's got his battle axe Johnny's got a cannon And Charlie brought his gat Giant Baby's packin' action And there's a gun for you Will you stay and save the city or run crying to your room? Mortgages and babies never scared you away But when we fight the Lizardmen, will you join the fray? Marriage is conditional, or it don't mean a thing If you can't fight off a reptile, then you don't get a ring Baby are you gonna stay or go? Because ever since George Washington's army teamed up with the Navajo and the Cherokee and chased those Lizardmen abominations back into the murky Okefenokee swamp, they've been waiting for us to grow complacent and weak and take back the nation. So I want you to shoot the first Lizardman you see right in the face, and take your biggest kitchen knife and scrape off his skin and turn that scaly Lizardman skin into boots and a belt and a coat and wear your Lizardmanskin boots into battle so that when they see you they know you're not fucking around, now can you do that for me, baby? Mortgages and babies never scared you away But when we fight the Lizardmen, will you join the fray? Marriage is conditional, or it don't mean a thing If you can't fight off a reptile, then you don't get a ring
4.
Sick Boy 03:30
Once there was a group of five men and they all got in the tub four of them died but the one that survived said, "That’s what I call love" Oh sick boy Oh sick boy Oh sick boy He was sick as a child his prick got washed in the washing machine ’cause his mother was a devout Catholic and claimed his ways unclean Oh sick boy Oh sick boy Oh sick boy In a world of terrors untold ’cause they’re too dark to see his life is just a second guess and a violent fantasy Oh sick boy Oh sick boy Oh sick boy He was my son he was my lover he looked just like Danny Glover only violent and malignant with a slightly lighter pigment on his skin wrong as sin Oh sick boy Oh sick boy Oh sick boy When will you learn you can only burn for so long on both ends and if you kill everyone you fuck then you won’t have many friends Oh sick boy Oh sick boy Oh sick boy You’ll go to jail.
5.
When your boyfriend’s dead I’ll have a shot So what if I ain’t got what he’s got When he’s dead in the ground and you leave him to rot I’m gonna have my chance with you You say you’re getting bored, but you won’t leave him for me You’ve got comfort and security I can’t honestly say that I disagree I’d probably do the same thing, too But when your boyfriend’s dead I’ll have a shot So what if I ain’t got what he’s got When he’s dead in the ground and you leave him to rot I’m gonna have my chance with you You may think that I sound insane But he could get cancer in his brain Or get blown away by a hurricane Yes I think you know it’s true Yeah baby he could go at anytime By suicide or a violent crime Fall off a bridge into contaminated slime And you’ll be single, good as new Yeah when your boyfriend’s dead I’ll have a shot So what if I ain’t got what he’s got When he’s dead in the ground and you leave him to rot I’m gonna have my chance with you
6.
Otis was a fuzzy brown bear Woke from hibernating in his cavernous lair Sleeping all winter long now, he gets the munchies Wants a pot of honey, wants to smoke up some leaves Sees that yellow sun, and he wants to have some fun A policeman's walking to his door, now run, Otis, run Gonna sing a little story about Otis, The fuzzy bear's gonna get beaten down And everywhere that he looks around, He sees Too many cops, too many cops, too many cops Now run, run, Otis, run Otis, he escapes with a dash Sits down and pulls out his stash Sees party-wreckin' coppers coming down every path Hides in a bush 'til the coast looks clear Sees cops marching in riot gear Our hungry little buddy has got the fear There'll be no pic-a-nics today for Otis, no, No cake, no coffee, no pie The Vice Squad beat him to a bloody pulp And left him there to die Gonna sing a little story about Otis, Our poor little buddy's gettin' beaten down And everywhere that he looks around, He sees Too many cops, too many cops, too many cops Now run, run, Otis, run Run, Otis, run, run, run
7.
Applesauce and toast Applesauce and toast Applesauce applesauce Applesauce applesauce Applesauce and toast Applesauce and toast The time is right for applesauce and toast
8.
Bluescock 06:15
9.
New Song 05:43
Let’s read the Family Circus in the middle of a circle jerk let’s read Nietzsche and not go to work Let’s talk about the Christ and sip chamomile tea while I think of curious ways to introduce you to my pee-pee Let’s get sushi and not pay fuck sluts until we turn gay let’s worship the devil for kicks burn the candle down to the wick I hear angel dust is rockin’ looks like your sister needs a good cock in her nether region now we are legion I like puddin’ and raspberries too like Horton I’m hearing a Who this blow is making me sick I cut off my thumb for kicks I once loved a woman who was a Jew she liked Bibble Babble and Fiddle Faddle too when it got too serious I went to the loo and drank a bottle of Jäger and Dewar’s too All these women here are like nuns they won’t let you penetrate their buns so we eat White Castle and get the runs then we drink Michelob like Huns I want a woman who reads Rollins and can doublefist a Pabst and a Collins smoke me up with pot from Holland then ride me like Lynch rode Mulholland She said she loved Thom Yorke yet she would never touch pork I said, "well, can you get a handle on this?" and then brother, did we have a bris!
10.
Ninja on the band wagon he's got his feet draggin' don't wanna do no kicks ninja on the band wagon wants to do all his braggin' about his guitar licks ninja with Mick Jagger lips destroying pirate ships but he would rather sing combating piracy upon the seven seas is no longer his thing ninja wants the fame game riding the gravy train into a sack of blow house is full of water slides he's got like thirty rides and his own pick of hoes ninja on the tour bus he slept with all the sluts and now he's got the clap did 'em in the asshole he's got rock in his soul and he does not like rap ninja on the band wagon he's sick of killing dragons in realms the world can't see ninja on the band wagon he smokes like half a bag in a Chinese grocery law on the ninja's tail they'll never find his trail he used a smoke grenade playing on his rock guitar he's gonna make it far he's gonna have it made
11.
Marbles with Jimmies, Marbles with Jimmies, Marbles with Jimmies for sale I want the kids to choke to death and rot in a garbage pail Marbles with jimmies marbles with jimmies marbles with jimmies for sale I wanted a plan to lure children and kill them without fail marbles with jimmies marbles with jimmies marbles with jimmies for sale eat them quick 'til you get sick Cause I'll soon go to jail.
12.
Pretty little lady from a Russian suburb, Long long way from home Sipping vodka tonics in a campus tavern She’s sitting all alone Crying out her eyes into a mystery novel Two tables from where we are But there’s some extra space on the Captain’s knee It’s more fun than where you are You don’t have to sit all by your lonesome With your books and pens Come along and have a drink with Giant Baby We’ll be your new best friends Katja Katja Have another drink with Giant Baby Sing a little song with Giant Baby Do a little dance with Giant Baby Ride on a pony with Giant Baby Take it away, Captain! Oh Katja Katja You don’t have to spend your time walking down dead ends ’Cause Giant Baby’s gonna be your new best friends Katja Katja Katja Get into a car with Giant Baby Eat a cheese sandwich with Giant Baby Smoke a little smoke with Giant Baby Oh, have another drink with Giant Baby No, you don’t have to spend your time walking down dead ends ’Cause Giant Baby’s gonna be your new best friends Katja Katja Katja Come on over now, Katja Katja Katja Take us home, Captain Fun Oh yeah
13.
Sittin’ in a bar on a Friday night You came to my table and I gave you a light You smiled at me, and I smiled too But I gotta tell you girl That I’d rather have Scotch than you I’d rather have Scotch than you My friends are saying, “Man, you could totally screw her” But a guy just can’t deny a ginger ale with Dewar’s You’re sending me signals, I know what to do But I gotta tell you girl That I’d rather have Scotch than you I’d rather have Scotch than you You’ve been so sweet that I just have to confess Any other night and you know I’d say yes But if I have to choose, then you already knew that I don’t mean to offend you But I’d rather have Scotch than you I’d rather have Scotch than you
14.
the man who drank 12 beers within three hours the man who drank 12 beers and did not shower the priests called his name the women knew his shame but he would not stop ever until he'd finished his game the man who drank 12 beers he did not cower the man who drank 12 beers such massive power have you ever had 12 beers and 15 cigarettes within 3 hours? he did, that madman and then he drank a pistachio martini the man who drank 12 beers without knowing a woman the man who drank 12 beers would you want to be him? no man! the man who drank 12 beers quarter life crisis the man who drank 12 beers then worshiped Isis the man who drank 12 beers 12 beers? sounds gay to me pass me some Skoal
15.
'Tussin Haze 01:06

about

Recorded from December 2007 to April 2008, "The Homemade Demo" collects, for the very first time in one convenient downloadable album, the original fifteen songs that exploded out of Giant Baby's first recording frenzy. Join Captain Fun, Charlie Slick, Doktor Heisenberg, and Johnny Goodtimes as they scatter genres like startled pigeons and shamelessly mingle lo-fi experiments with epic adventures. This rare collection also features once-in-a-lifetime guest appearances by Kristin Blank, Cait Stuff, and Awesome Indie Disco Sound, and is a must-have for all true Giant Baby fanatics. From the abandoned steel mills of Pittsburgh to the vermin-infested slums of Brooklyn, admirers and detractors alike declare, "No man can beat them, no woman can tame them, no drug can kill them, they are Giant Fucking Baby!"

Giant Baby is:
Captain Fun
Charlie Slick
Doktor Heisenberg
Johnny Goodtimes

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released May 1, 2008

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Giant Baby Brooklyn, New York

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